2022.01.22 17:47 Face4Audio US and UK Promotion: Quirky small-town comedy!
(I am the narrator of this book)
I have US and UK codes for a laugh-out-loud quirky comedy, Cupidity: A Novel. Tammy Tyree is a "female Forrest Gump" who gets an email telling her she has inherited $5M. Her small-town family and friends try to help her collect the windfall. A story of greed, survival, and what's really important in life.
Reply here or DM me for codes.
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2022.01.22 17:47 Impossible-Bird-1299 Outfits based on the holidays I celebrate!
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2022.01.22 17:47 Snakes_for_life Pet fees
2022.01.22 17:47 Tester-II Simply Saturday
2022.01.22 17:47 QueenofMars420 Anyone know of good long video feeds of things like this? 🍄soon!
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2022.01.22 17:47 JimmyRidz I've never watched a Superhero/comic movie in my life. Please tell me they're all like this then I can start...
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2022.01.22 17:47 Smith_fallblade Hermitcraft Smp > Dream Smp
2022.01.22 17:47 AnyoneHaveASpareArm I’m New
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2022.01.22 17:47 geekaz01d Alternative to Theragun Pro w/removable battery?
One thing a lot of people do not understand about rechargeable tech is that they still typically use LiIon batteries. These are very stable batteries that are popular for consume electronics but they only have about 400 charge cycles of service. This is far too short a lifecycle for a high impact product with electronics, plastics and motors.
The only unit Theragun makes with externalized batteries is the Pro. Is there a third party alternative? I want something that has battery packs available or that I can service the batteries on.
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2022.01.22 17:47 Username____emanresU I agree
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2022.01.22 17:47 Informal-Ad8550 New to IBS
2022.01.22 17:47 wakabaka72 Now Dig on This
Let us pray, my children in God
Our Father who art in Sony
Hallowed be thy Webs
Thy Pizza come
Thy Will be done
Deliver us Spider-Man 4
On Marvel as it is in Sony
Give us this day our daily Pizza
And deliver us Spider-Man 4
As we forgive Raimi for Spider-Man 3
(but laugh at his memes)
He did no wrong
And lead us not into Venom
But deliver us from DC
Aunt of Parker
Pray for us fanboys
And at the hour of our death
Glory be to Maguire
And to Garfield
And to the holy Raimi
As it was in the comics
And ever shall be
Adaptions without end
About six months earlier in his hometown of Capernaum, Peter approached Jesus Parker and asked: “Lord, how many times is my brother to sin against me and am I to forgive him? Up to seven times?” Peter likely thought that he was being generous. After all, the religious leaders of the day taught that one had to forgive only three times! Jesus Parker replied: You want forgiveness? Get religion."
The Gospel according to Raimi
Thanks be to Maguire
After saying this, Jesus Parker spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes.
"I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye!" he told him. So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.
“Stings, doesn’t it?”
The Gospel according to Raimi
Thanks be to Maguire
Later they sent some of the Pharisees and Herodians to Jesus Parker to catch him in his words. They came to him and said, “Teacher, we know that you are a man of integrity. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are; but you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Mr. Ditkovich or not? Should we pay or shouldn’t we?”
But Jesus Parker knew their hypocrisy. “YOU'LL GET YOUR RENT WHEN YOU FIX THIS DAMN DOOR!” he asked. “Bring me a denarius and let me look at it.” They brought the coin, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?”
“Caesar’s [pizza pizza!],” they replied.
Then Jesus Parker said to them, “I NEED THAT MONEY.”
And they were amazed at him.
The Gospel according to Raimi, 12:17
Thanks be to Maguire
When Jesus Parker heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus Parker landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”
Jesus Parker replied, “I missed the part where that's my problem”
“We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.
“Bring them here to me,” he said. And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves.
“PIZZA TIME”, he said.
Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pizzas that were left over. The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women, children, and Little Goblin Junior.
The Gospel according to Raimi 14:13-21
Thanks be to Maguire
After the day of rest—a holy day, as the sun rose Sunday morning, Mary-Jane Watson from Queens and Gwen Stacey went to look at the tomb.
Suddenly, there was a powerful earthquake. An angel of the Lord Maguire had come down from heaven, rolled the stone away, and was sitting on it. He was as bright as lightning, and his clothes were as white as snow. The guards were so deathly afraid of him that they shook.
The angel said to the women, “Don’t be afraid! I know you’re looking for Spider-Man Four, which was crucified by the Sony executives. Sorry. He’s not here. He's in the Marvel Cinematic Universe now. He has been brought back to life as he said. Come, see the place where he was lying. Then go quickly, and tell his disciples that he has been brought back to life. He’s going ahead of them into the MCU. There they will see him. Take note that I have told you.”
They hurried away from the tomb with fear and great joy and ran to tell his disciples.
Suddenly, Jesus Parker met them and greeted them. They went up to him, bowed down to worship him, and took hold of his feet.
Then Jesus Parker said to them, “I'M BACK. I'M BAAAACCCKKKKKK! My back! *crack* My back...”
The Gospel according to Raimi 28
Thanks be to Maguire
"With great power comes great responsibility."
Then Jesus Parker was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the Green Goblin. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “The itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout down came the goblin and took the spider out.”
But He answered and said, “Goblin, what have you done? ”
Then the Green Goblin took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, “Spider-Man! This is why only fools are heroes. Because you never know when some lunatic will come along with a sadistic choice: Let die the woman you love or suffer the little children. Make your choice, Spider-Man. and see how a hero is rewarded.
Jesus Parker said to him, “Don't do it, Goblin!”
Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to Him, “We are who we choose to be. Now, choose! What about my generous proposal? Are you in or are you out?”
Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you! It's you who's out Gobbie. Out of your mind. ”
“Misery, misery, misery. That's what you've chosen. I offered you friendship and you spat in my face. You've spun your last web, Spider-Man. Had you not been so selfish, your little girlfriend's death would have been quick and painless. But now that you've really pissed me off l'm gonna finish her nice and slow. MJ and I… we're gonna have a hell of a time. WE’LL MEET AGAIN, SPIDER-MANNNNNNNNNNN!”
Then the Green Goblin left Him, and behold, loving fans came and ministered to Him.
Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Queens, the village of Mary-Jane Watson and her friend Gwen Stacey. (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who Jesus Parker loved) So the girls sent word to Jesus Parker, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”
When he heard this, Jesus Parker said, "I missed the part where that's my problem.
Now Jesus Parker loved Mary-Jane Watson and her friend and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Sony.”
“But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Sony Executives there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?”
Jesus Parker answered "Oooh", as he glared and held up his hands.
(some parts skipped)
When Mary reached the place where Jesus Parker was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
When Jesus Parker saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.
“NOOOOO” he screamed.
"Gonna cry?", he asked, smiling.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
"Bully Maguire wept. [For there were no more worlds to conquer.]"
The Gospel according to Raimi, 11:35
Thanks be to Maguire
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2022.01.22 17:47 Dysmal_Cientist My girlfriend’s mom got us a subscription to a food box for a year
So girlfriend is vegetarian (basically 95% non-dairy though tbh) and I’m vegan. Her mom got us this food subscription box for Xmas called Universal Yums. It’s various snacks from around the world and I love that shit because I like traveling and learning languages. This month we got Poland. Anyway she knows I’m vegan and ordered the bigger box subscription because she thought it would have more vegan options. Sadly it did not have many so far.
Out of like ten snacks there are maybe one or two that are vegan each month and usually something like mixed nuts haha. We have three boxes now because she can’t eat it all by herself. I have adhd and have a tendency to wait until I’m absolutely fucking starving to think about food. Most of the time I don’t struggle at all with being vegan, but sometimes… man I was so hungry last night.
Part of me wanted to try some of the snacks while my food cooks and justify it by saying it was a gift, I didn’t buy it myself, it would otherwise get thrown away blah blah blah. The other part of me felt like I was being selfish and would not be a good vegan if I ate the dairy products. I went over and looked in the box and sighed disappointedly while my food cooked.
After I finally ate and my blood sugar stabilized the desire to eat them had left me. I just hate how they put so much dairy crap in stuff when it could easily be vegan. It’s frustrating. Sometimes I hate that I miss out in trying new foods. Not because I blame the animals but because I just wish I could taste it ya know? Wish it was vegan.
On another sad note I had a dental appointment on Tuesday and grabbed two chewy candies but not gummies. They were like fruit tootsie rolls. They shouldn’t have had dairy in them. I was chatting with my dentist so didn’t think about it. They were tasty so I got home and looked at the wrapper to order some. They had dairy. Wtf.
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2022.01.22 17:47 faithordlover Dmme feed me tell me what to do and tell me when to cum.
2022.01.22 17:47 slims86 Look what I got
2022.01.22 17:47 GamerguyIDK Help
I want to play the game with good graphics but it's to god dam laggy even on a new world I need solutions because I can't bear everything on low and Graphics on medium and even then it's only just bearable.
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2022.01.22 17:47 L0raz-Thou-R0c0n0 Save the date!
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2022.01.22 17:47 kg_soles What will you put in there?
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2022.01.22 17:47 magical_rat_cowgirl Just a simple request I've got going..
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2022.01.22 17:47 pleasedontfollowm3-5 Emilia Jones
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2022.01.22 17:47 RaccoonTownie Why did everyone trust Markstrom?
A couple weeks ago someone posted about how it was weird that Mobay was treated very harshly when trying to rise the ranks of the drug trade. People in the comments made some great points about why he was treated this way but it made me think, why did everyone trust Markstrom so quickly?
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2022.01.22 17:47 Kittykatkaboom The Serpent King
I keep my grip on this plank of wood, the only thing out here that can save me. My eyes burn and my face is dripping with salty snot. It's not the violent crashing waves pulling me down though. It's an image.
I was in the lower cabin of my boat looking out the window when I saw its scales shimmering in the streaks of lightning just above the surface. It was hypnotic. There aren't words to describe the holographic colors that shined out from the beast that proceeded to throw its body over my boat, wrap under and constricted it into pieces like a splintered tree branch.
I've been gripping this plank of wood for what has to be at least an hour. The winds themselves are thunderous. I am at least 50 miles from anywhere, not that anyone has any reason to look for me. The beast hasn't eaten me but when the lightning strikes just right, I get quick flashes of purples, blues, and greens. It's waiting for me. It wants me to choose and most terrifying of all, I want to choose it.
I let go, and I mean entirely. I sink, releasing every last bubble of oxygen in my lungs. It's dark, overwhelming, and absolutely magnificent. The serpent glowed against the streaks of nature's purest fire striking down through the swirling waters creating a glorious god-like aura around it. Its tail was eternal disappearing infinitely into the pitch black depths below us. My eyes burned from the salt but I refuse to shut them.
It twists around towards me, elegantly gliding through the waters. I barely feel conscious, and my blood is beginning to scream for air. It opens it's large yellow eyes at me. Just one eye could envelope my whole body but I'm not afraid. In fact, the moment I looked into those eyes, a numbness spread. My throbbing lungs relaxed and filled with the sea, my bones were frozen in place, my skin feels calm in the cool waters rather than pierced by it. I stare as long as I can, feeling my eyes begin to dissolve from my skull.
The scales on his face glisten like rain on a city street. I want to become them, shine with them, flow in eternity down its tail. Its jaw begins to open revealing a seemingly impossible number of sharp fangs. My vision has a red tint spreading from the peripheral to the center, until the red turns to black. There's nothing left of my eyes. I can feel the vacancy in my sockets but the image still burns, slithering in front of me. As the last bit of my life flickers out, when most people might say a last prayer or a lover's name, only two words came to me.
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2022.01.22 17:47 Sercoli Level 6095 impossible?
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2022.01.22 17:47 missalsie What are these berries? Found in Bay Area, probably common…
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2022.01.22 17:47 savetheshark Has anyone lost a package before?
I’ve never had a package undelivered, but I ordered my dusky lavender scuba half zip Jan. 3rd. The USPS tracking system hasn’t updated since Jan. 18th in Kent, WA. Do you think it got lost?
I just wasn’t sure if it normally took this long for scuba hoodies to ship because I ordered leggings last week and they arrived no problem, but my package didn’t have to go through Kent, WA.
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